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RETSU ARASHI: PSYCHIC STORM
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By Skyman07
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I didn't finish this. I'm not sure I even got halfway, but I put in about two hours and I couldn't stomach anymore identical, unavoidable battles. I did have to really think about whether or not I was going to give up mid-game, though, because the other parts of Retsu Arashi are pretty good. I would gladly have sat through the game if it was simply mediocre rather than bordering on unplayable, but...
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PRESENTATION
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Graphics
Despite the fact the game sucks, you should download it anyway just to see how good the graphics are. The sheer detail of the maps manages to surpass most commercial SNES RPGs, the cutscene effects are beautiful, and everything has a really strong Asian look & feel to it. All the enemies and characters are fighting game rips, as are their battle animations, so, when someone attacks, you actually see them go through the full motions of that attack. It all looks really smooth and amazingly detailed, except...
...the animation of the person performing the attack appears in front of a static image of them that never moves for the entire battle, which is the only thing stopping this getting five stars for presentation. See, since this is an RM2k game, the way the 'side view' battles are done is to paste a static image of the characters onto the background, which means when their attack animation is played, the character is simultaneously attacking the enemy and standing totally still behind themselves. The storyline rationalises this by saying it's a kind of illusion, but that doesn't stop it looking stupid. The reason I'm focusing on this is because it's the only flaw in the presentation, but it's impossible to ignore because the combat is so goddamn frequent. Everything else is perfect, though.
Music & Sound Effects
The game's main music has a very Asian sound to it, which really suits the graphics. It's unlikely you'll be able to appreciate it, though, because Ninjas can and will jump out of nowhere at you at least every 10 seconds. Cue generic RPG battle music! Also, the Zelda 3 intro music is there too, but I didn't recognise it for a while because - YES! - I encountered so many goddamn Ninjas that I didn't hear anything past the opening few bars. There's also a nice, relaxed piece from EVO, but all it does it signify that you're going to be stuck in a cutscene for the next five minutes.
Since this is a "fighting game" (hah), there are a lot of punches, kicks, impact noises and male / female "YAH!" sounds. They synchronise perfectly with the animations. Make no mistake, a huge amount of effort has gone into Retsu Arashi's aesthetics (just none into actually making it fun).
Originality
It's all original. OK, King of Fighters rips aren't 'original', but I can't think of any other RM2k games that have used them, and, if there is one, then I doubt it's used them this well.
Extra stuff
While there's a lot of detail in the maps, it doesn't do anything except sit there and look (really) pretty. The game is so stiflingly linear that there's nothing "extra" available - you just walk down a pre-determined path the whole time, and any deviation results in variations on "I don't need to go there yet".
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STORYLINE & CHARACTERS
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Storyline
You are Toko, a martial arts student learning the sacred art of whatever. You're undergoing one of those "You will know the answer by accepting that you do not know it" trials when lightning strikes your Dojo. Heading off to tell subtly-named master Tao, you get attacked by a bajillion ninjas. Then you go around rescuing the other students, while being attacked by more ninjas. You try breaking into the temple after fighting more ninjas, but the doors are all magically locked, so you have to go down a well and fight some ghost ninjas. After dealing with the ghost ninjas, Generic Healing Girl joins you and you fight ninjas together. Then you fight some more ninjas, then a demon ninja. Then you go off and look for some other girl. The ninjas were so awesome I KICKED MY MOM IN THE FACE!!!
While looking for the other girl, I got attacked by so many fucking ninjas that I just gave up. This is a generic martial arts storyline that would distinguish most other games, and probably be fun in a brainless way, but it's not worth slogging through ninja after ninja to get there.
Characters
Toko is a hot-headed youth who must learn to focus his anger etc. Generic Healing Girl had a name, but I've forgotten it because the characters were so 1-dimensional. Not that I have anything against 1-dimensional characters beating up hoards of ninjas, but it helps if the game is actually fun.
Cut Scenes
They're really well animated and a lot happens in them - lightning strikes, trees explode, people die, monsters walk out of walls and sort of nifty stuff. They do drag on a bit, though: Half of them are just ninjas saying "THERE IS NOOOO ESCAPE", and the other half constantly remind us where we're meant to be going next. This would be helpful if there was any control over where to go next, but there isn't - we get told repeatedly to "go east" after leaving the Dojo, but, once you finally do leaver, there's nowhere to go except east because everywhere else is blocked with impassable trees.
Originality
In isolation, this isn't an original storyline, but there aren't that many RPGs about martial arts. After playing Retsu Arashi, you'll understand why.
Script
It's actually pretty sloppy. It's not horrible, but the punctuation is really crazy. "HEY YOU!!!!! You'd better get out or i'll kill you.". Stuff like that. Oh, and every second line is either "There is no honour in defeat!" or "YOU BELOOOOONG TO USSSS!". Again, it would be fine in a game that was actually fun, but this isn't.
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GAMEPLAY
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Event Programming
The encounters are set up like Pokemon, in that when you hit a certain space on the map, the enemy appears, then walks toward you and attacks. Unlike Pokemon, though, you can't judge which spaces will cause an attack and then avoid them - you just get attacked when you reach a certain space with no way of avoiding it. Also, since the game is so linear, "a certain space" actually means "every five to ten steps in the only direction you're allowed to go". Great! The only use use of non-default events is during the battles, when the enemy attacks are handled with events rather than monster behaviour, in order to make the animations visible. It's no better or worse than the default combat.
Fun Factor
Absolutely none whatsoever, at all, for the whole pointless experience. The 'game' consists of running along a pretty-but-linear map, then hammering Enter every time you're attacked. I was swearing audibly toward the end because the fucking identical, unavoidable, strategy-deprived encounters would not stop. Then I gave up and made it my duty to warn others.
Combat
This is, sadly, the entire reason I downloaded Retsu Arashi in the first place. See, according to its page at Gaming World, Retsu Arashi is "A new RM2K game that combines the strategy of turn based combat with the excitement of 2D fighting games". Intrigued, I check the screenshots and see two King of Fighters-style sprites facing off against each other - it looks pretty interesting, so I download it. Then I play the damn thing. Oh God, what a mistake.
"The strategy of turn based combat"? Bull-fucking-shit. You can choose to either fight or use your special attack each turn, and that's as deep as it gets. Fight, fight, fight, then heal after combat. Occasionally, you heal during combat. WOW, THAT SURE IS STRATEGIC! What makes it really get my nerves is that there are so many fucking fights in this game, none of which can be avoided. You don't even get experience points, you just get "upgraded" during certain story events. And, in case you were wondering, no, it doesn't have "the excitement of 2D fighting games". It's not exciting. It's not strategic. It's a total and utter fucking waste of time that is never enjoyable and frequently frustrating.
Sure, a lot of RPGs have shallow, crappy combat like this, but few of them shove encounters in your face this frequently, and they usually have monsters with more variety than "Ninja" and "Ninja with slightly different coloured robe". The game gives you a debug item with which to skip combat, but, even after using it dozens of times, I still got sick of it.
Dungeons
None, really. You're just railroaded from map to map while fighting ninjas. Occasionally you get to 'explore', but all that means is that you can choose which order to visit a finite number of rooms in until you trigger the event that opens up the next area. There are a few optional treasure chests, but who fucking cares?
Puzzles & Minigames
There's one puzzle, where you stick some figurines into holes in the right order. There's a clue as how to do it, but it's so lazily coded that it doesn't let you make a mistake if you try to.
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OVERALL
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There are a lot of old NES / Arcade games where you fight a repetitive army of ninjas using a limited selection of moves. Those are games are fun because you are actually goddamn playing them, and they don't pause for a few minutes every time you encounter an enemy.
I started out liking this game, but my enthusiasm plummeted when I realise that Retsu Arashi is barely a game at all. You have no choice in where you're going, every fight is mandatory, and your combat options are so limited that they may as well not exist - the input of the player is negligible, and you may as well be watching a really shitty flash animation. I feel sort of bad, because a lot of time and effort has gone into making this, but then I think back to what I had to endure 'playing' it, and all my sympathy disappears. Download this game and look at the pretty maps as an example of great design, just don't try playing it under any circumstances.
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